GREAT GAMES

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Good Behavior Games
Fun ways to teach your preschooler how to tidy up, solve problems, stop interrupting, and more.
By Megan Tucker

Balloon Bash
What it teaches: Teamwork beats arguing
How to play: Find an open area where your kids won't bump into furniture. Then give each child two balloons (don't try this with kids under 3, since balloons are a choking and suffocation hazard). When you say "go," they must team up to keep the balloons in the air for a set time (start with 30 seconds). You can also have them try bopping the balloons with just one silly part of their body, such as their nose or their pinkie fingers.
Why it works: Your children will see the value of working together toward a common goal. Remind them of this lesson the next time you ask them to clean their room or set the table.

Treasure Hunt
What it teaches: Bedtime cooperation
How to play: Make a certificate good for an extra story, a back rub, or your child's favorite breakfast. Hide the slip of paper in her room, then let her look for it after she's brushed her teeth. If she's having trouble, give hints, such as, "You're getting warmer."
Why it works: Bedtime becomes fun for kids when they get extra time with Mommy and Daddy and have little bonuses to look forward to.

Voice Lessons
What it teaches: Whining is annoying
How to play: Read 10 sentences from a children's book into a tape recorder, using a pleasant voice for some and a whiny voice for others. Play them back and ask your child to raise her hand when she hears the sentences read in a nice voice. When she gets them all right, have her record sentences in her silliest, whiniest, and nicest voices.
Why it works: This game shows that something as familiar as a favorite story can be changed simply by the way you speak, and it helps kids understand how their tone comes across to other people.

Look on the Bright Side
What it teaches: Optimism
How to play: Start telling a story in which something negative happens ("One day Steve was feeling cranky because it was too hot outside"). Ask one child to continue by describing a positive turn of events. For instance, "The good thing was, there was a nice, cool lake nearby for taking a dip." The next player then introduces another negative idea, which is answered by a positive one from the next player.
Why it works: It helps kids develop a more positive outlook so they can deal with real-life frustrations more easily.

Follow the Helpful Leader
What it teaches: Tidying up
How to play: Gather your kids outside a cluttered room. Explain that you're the first "helpful leader" and that they should do what you do. Lead them, skipping and clapping, into the room. Then start straightening up. Make sure they're copying you. After a few minutes, let one of your children be the leader. Encourage the kids afterward by saying, "This room looks really clean!"
Why it works: Children will realize they're capable of cleaning up after themselves, and that doing so can even be fun -- especially when everyone helps out.

The "I Never Thought of That" Game
What it teaches: Problem solving
How to play: Gather a few everyday objects, such as a trash bin, a shoe, and a pencil. Hold up an item and ask your child to think of as many uses for it as he can. (For a trash bin, he may come up with ideas such as "sit on it," "hide in it," "use it like a bucket," and "bang it like a drum.") Take turns letting players think of as many ideas as they can in a minute, using a different object for each.
Why it works: Kids learn that it's fun to think things out on their own. You can also use this technique for helping them come up with options for settling sibling squabbles or dealing with a kid who teases them.

A Few of My Favorite Things
What it teaches: Empathy
How to play: Make a list of five things that make you feel happy, such as ice cream, big smiles, sunny days, Daddy, and getting a good night's sleep. Ask your child to repeat these five things. If he does it correctly, add a sixth item, and ask him to repeat them all. Keep adding to the list until he can't recall it. Then it's his turn to say five things that make him happy and have you repeat them. Continue playing by choosing different feelings (sad, angry, afraid) and naming things that make you feel that way.
Why it works: Your child will start to consider other people's likes, dislikes, and emotions, not just his own. This game will also make him think about how his actions affect the feelings of friends and siblings.

The Same-Time Game
What it teaches: Interrupting is rude
How to play: Think of some things you can do at the same time (such as clap your hands and sing) and things you can't (such as stand up and sit down), and demonstrate each. Feel free to do something silly, such as frantically trying to sit and stand simultaneously. Then let your children come up with their own examples ("I can't hold my nose and breathe through it at the same time, but I can touch my toes and laugh at the same time"). Take turns until every player has come up with at least five sets of cans and can'ts.
Why it works: Children have a hard time accepting that they can't always get your attention right away. This game will help them be more patient -- and less likely to interrupt -- when you're on the phone or making dinner.

Sources: Lawrence Shapiro, PhD, a family therapist in Norwalk, Connecticut, and Myrna Shure, PhD, a Parents advisor and professor of psychology at Drexel University, in Philadelphia.

Copyright © 2006. Reprinted with permission from the September 2006 issue of Parents magazine.