MAKING TIME

http://eclectichomeschool.org/articles/article.asp?articleid=489&resourceid=131&topicid=22

Too Busy?
by Tammy M. Cardwell

Admit it. As soon as you read the title, you nodded your head and answered, “Oh yeah,” or something close.

Almost all of us are too busy. We live in a world that is too busy. Busy-ness is so common in our lives that we’ve begun to accept that to be “normal” is to be “too busy.”

What are we teaching our children?

Look at medical statistics and you see a frightening trend. The pressure-cooker lifestyle we’ve come to accept is killing us – leading to heart problems, strokes, and more. Young men and women are succumbing to diseases that only affected the aged just one generation ago.

What are you teaching your children?

I ask this question seriously, and strongly advise you to ask it of yourself as you face the end of one school year and begin planning for the next. Homeschoolers have a terrific advantage over system schoolers, because our schedules allow us the flexibility to go and do in ways they can only dream. Field trip opportunities abound, of course, but I’m also thinking in terms of things like co-ops, organized sports, music lessons, college courses, etc.

Take time to look back over this past year and consider not only your schedule, but each child’s schedule as well. Were any of these schedules too full on occasion? Was life always overflowing with active responsibilities, leaving you feeling, far too often, as if you were spinning your wheels, accomplishing nothing though you were in constant motion?

What did this teach your children? Did it teach them that yes, there is always room in the schedule for just one more activity? Did it teach them that your family’s priorities are flexible? Did it teach them that the best way to get ahead in life is to slowly kill yourself?

I know. It sounds melodramatic, but I’m seeing an alarming trend among homeschoolers today, especially among new homeschoolers, that has me genuinely disturbed. Where ten years ago we were the ones looking at the system school parents and shaking our heads over their tendencies to over-schedule their poor kids’ lives, today you see large numbers of homeschoolers doing the very same thing. As adults, we grouse to one another about life being crazy and never feeling like we have time to breathe anymore, but as homeschooling parents we’re teaching our children that this kind of lifestyle is acceptable and must be endured.

Why?

We grumble to one another as if this is simply “the way it is” and we must accept reality. We live in a microwave, blazing Internet, exceed-the-speed-limit society and we’ve come to believe, or so it seems, that we are responsible for learning (and teaching our kids) to keep up with the Joneses in the literal as well as figurative sense. But we also, as we complain, are convinced in our heart of hearts that constantly over-scheduling our lives is wrong.

If you don’t feel such over-scheduling is wrong, you might as well stop reading now, but if you agree, and have concerns about your own family, read on.

Consider the school year that is just ending. How did it play out? Did everything fall in line with your philosophy of education – your concept of the manner in which education needs to take place in your home? Or did it, instead, turn into a virtual free-for-all, where your schedule is concerned, and now you look back and can’t help but wonder where you went wrong? What did you teach your kids this year?

One thing we desperately need to teach our kids – one thing many of us must relearn ourselves if we are not to see our lives spiral into a scheduling pit – is how to say, “No.” As a society, at least here in America, we have a weakness in this area. Saying “No” can be really hard, so we don’t bother saying it as often as we should – not to ourselves or to anyone else. So your son approaches you, wanting to take karate. Hey, karate is a great thing. Sure! Of course, he’s already involved in baseball, taking piano lessons, and growing his own garden to make extra money...on top of his homeschooling. How much is too much?

You have to decide that for yourself, of course. I’m just encouraging you to actively make that decision, and to make it now, before you finalize your plans for next year. Sit down – alone, with your spouse, or with your whole family – and take a serious look at your current lifestyle and how well it fits in with your philosophy of education and general priorities. A healthy life is a balanced life, and that means sufficient rest and downtime as well as the right amount of educational pursuits, physical exercise, etc. Your job, as the parent, is to make sure your family finds this balance, and to help your children understand what it takes to maintain it.

Start by setting some overarching priorities. What are your absolutes where education is concerned? What parts of your week or day are non-negotiable? (Note: If none of them are non-negotiable, you most likely have a problem.) What activities are you and your children involved in that must not be interfered with?

Perhaps it would help if I used my own family as an example. While we’re not homeschooling anymore, the rules we used in scheduling still apply. For instance, God invariably comes first. Our children always knew that Sunday was His and service attendance was non-negotiable. The same was true for Wednesday. This meant that when our oldest son reached the place in Little League when they began scheduling Wednesday games, Little League was no longer an option. Was he happy? No, but since he knew as well as we did that missing Wednesday night services was not an option, he understood our decision. It’s part of learning to prioritize, to tell one’s self and others, “No.”

On the other hand, when our oldest got involved in music, especially after he started teaching himself to play the guitar, and as it became obvious that he was gifted musically, those studies became a priority. We provided both time and finances for voice lessons until he chose to switch to piano lessons in order to learn more music theory. We also allowed him plenty of time to practice undisturbed, or as undisturbed as you can be when you have a younger brother around. Because he did not live an overly scheduled life, he had plenty of time to truly pursue his passion, and his passion has led him into working at our church full time, serving as our band leader (also lead guitarist and, in a pinch, bassist, keyboardist, or drummer), and singing when he’s needed. We taught him to prioritize and I have reason to hope it’s a lesson he learned well; I count it as one of the most important lessons of all.

Please, as you look to the new school year, choosing curriculum and making out schedules, consider all that you are teaching your children, and make sure it’s all good.

Copyright © 2006 Eclectic Homeschool Association