LABELS

I have always been careful with labels when it comes to my boys. I think this article is very insightful...

http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/4_9/pri_htp20.asp

Labels - Don't Give Your Child A Bad Name

'Keep on telling me what I am, and that's what I'll become' ...so be careful how you describe your children.

Listen to what family members say about each other. Consider the nicknames, the stories told about each other and the jokes. These are the signs that family members are cast into roles and given labels to match.

'Oh, he's the clever one in the family but he's got no common sense', 'She's a bit of a tearaway' 'My youngest is such a scaredy cat, she's nervous about absolutely everything!'

Labelling is disabling
Although it may be true that your child is more fearful than other children, labelling him as 'fearful' may make things worse. Labels - good or bad, become a part of the child's self image. Although a label may start with a germ of truth in it, it quickly acquires its own force. A 'clumsy' child becomes apprehensive about picking up something delicate and in a state of nervousness, drops it. More proof that he is clumsy!

Good labels, bad labels and labels in pairs
Parents often label their children by comparing and contrasting them. First children are often 'nervous and shy' and their younger siblings 'outgoing and sociable'. Some labels link the child to another member of the family. 'You're just like your father.' Sometimes the labels are given affectionately but convey equally powerful messages. 'You're such a butterfingers!' 'My son, the urban terrorist!'

Even good can be bad
Positive as well as negative labels have their downside. A child constantly labelled as the 'responsible one' in the family, feels he always has to be on his best behaviour. His 'real self' is both responsible and reckless. Sometimes he feels the desire to break out and be irresponsible but the label inhibits him. He may also fear that his parents only like the responsible boy and if they see the 'real boy' they won't like it or him.

Mixed messages
A label may fulfil a need of the parents. Sometimes an apparently negative label conveys a mixed message. The parents of an 'urban terrorist' may be secretly proud of his energy and recklessness. A 'fearful' child calls out strong nurturing instincts. He looks to his parents for help. Ask yourself if you like having your son turn to you for reassurance. If so, try to wean him away from his reliance on you and help him stand on his own two feet.

WORKSHEETS

Here are some sheets from Nikki's workbook. =D

A REALLY NEAT IDEA

from a homeschooling mom (homeschoolfreestuff).

Encouraging Kids To Learn On Their Own

I think that some structured school for younger kids is very important, but I also think that encouraging kids to learn and explore "school" on their own is equally important.

I keep a cupboard that is right at the kids level stocked with all sorts of school type stuff. I have construction paper, writing paper, glue, scissors and that kind of school stuff in there.

But I add new things in there all the time. I add books that are their level and are about subjects that I think might interest them. I stick fun and educational workbooks or cool new board games in the cupboard. And I add other cool things like bags of fabric scraps, pipe cleaners, empty jars and anything else that I think might get them exploring our world.

The kids know that they can go in this cupboard whenever they want and use whatever they want in it. It is their space. Sometimes that ask for help with projects but most of the time between the three of them (ages 2 to 7) they do amazing things.

We've used fabric scraps for everything from doll clothes to parts of castles. I can't ever seem to keep enough paper in there because they communicate so much with drawings, maps, stories (even just scribbles from the youngest.) It also helps make choosing topics easy for me because they go in the cupboard and come out with something they want to learn!

And it's fun for me to find new things to stick into our big "school box"!

~Renee Canham, Murrieta CA~

BOARDGAMES

Nikki has lately become interested in board games for which I am glad. A few months ago, Nikki had a pretty difficult time losing. Yes, he was a sore loser. He would usually whine, cry, toss something or even hit his dad when he would lose in one of their Mario Bros. games. That kind of worried me because I wanted him learn how to lose gracefully. But I didn't push it and instead, whenever he would lose, I would simply encourage him and tell him, "It's okay, Nikki. You will do better next time and beat Daddy." And he would try again. I bought him these board games in the past to just let him know that games are fun whether he wins or loses. I'm happy to say that now, Nikki is no longer a sore loser. When I would win a game, he would just say, "I'll win the next time, Mommy!" No more tantrums, no more throwing things, no more crying. I'm so proud of him. =D

PARENTING TIPS

I think these are handy tips for all parents...

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/368.html#top

PARENTING TIPS

I sometimes lose my temper. Does that mean I'm a bad parent?
No. Many parents lose their temper with their children. It's OK to feel angry, but it's not OK to take it out on your children. When you're really angry, take a break. For example, take your children for a walk or call a friend to come help you. If you feel angry with your child almost every day or have trouble controlling your temper, get some help. You might talk to your family doctor. There are groups that can help parents, too. One group is listed on the right side of this page.

I love my children, but being a parent can be so hard!
Being a parent can be a joy, but it's also a tough job. No parent is perfect. We all make mistakes. Even loving parents sometimes do things they don't mean to do, like yell at a child or call a child a bad name. But if you think you're having trouble controlling yourself, get help so a pattern of abuse doesn't start.

I get so frustrated sometimes. Is this normal?
Yes. All parents get frustrated. Children take a lot of time and energy. Parenting is even harder when you have problems in your life, such as worries about your job, your bills or your relationships, or problems with alcohol or drugs. To be a good parent, you have to take care of yourself. That means getting help for your problems.

What can I do when I feel frustrated?
Take a break. Everyone needs a break from being a parent once in a while. If you have another adult in your family, take turns getting away. For example, have your partner stay with the children so you can visit friends. Take turns sleeping late on the weekends. If you're a single parent, ask friends and relatives to help by running some errands for you. Maybe they could watch your child while you go out.

Source
Primary Prevention of Child Abuse by L Bethea, M.D. (American Family Physician March 15, 1999, http://www.aafp.org/afp/990315ap/1577.html)

RAINY DAY ACTIVITY

During those days when we had non-stop rains, I thought that it would be nice to go out of the house still. So one day, when there were no lightnings and thunder and the rain was just a cheerful shower, the boys and I enjoyed a leisurely walk outside. We didn't bring any umbrellas so it was a very stimulating walk for us and it was wonderful feeling the rain on our faces and skin for a change without any worries that we will be drenched or a bit muddy from our stroll. We ended up looking for different bugs because once Ethan spotted a millipede there was no stopping him from looking for more bugs. He loves bugs. Anyway, we did find some black ants scampering about. Then 2 more millipedes and a lonely butterfly that seemed to enjoy the shower as much as we did. But our biggest find was when we spotted this huge, HAIRY caterpillar in the middle of the road! Ethan shrieked, "CATERPILLAR!!" (which sounded like caderpillar) and I yelled, "Don't touch it!! It's itchy!" I had a terrible experience with a caterpillar once. So anyway, what we did was we picked it up on a stick and then brought it to a nearby plant. Ethan was VERY fascinated because I recently bought him an insect book and there was a hairy caterpillar in it. I suppose he was thinking, "It's so cool!" =D It was such a fun activity maybe we'll do it again soon.

INTRODUCTION TO GEOGRAPHY

Nikki has been expressing some interest in geography these days. Since he has this atlas of the world, I thought it would be nice to start introducing him to some of the well-known countries. A month ago, he asked me to buy this globe and he loves looking for the countries there. He already knows Mexico, France, Italy, United Kingdom, Australia, Japan, China, India, Philippines, New Zealand, Africa and some others. I thought it would nice to slowly introduce him to the continents. I would ask him, "Where is the Eiffel Tower?" And he would reply, "In France" and I would continue, "Where is France?" And he would say, "In Europe." At least when we do it this way, he will be familiar with the continents and then later on, we'll study it in full detail.





















The book and the globe.

Map of the world.














Contents of the book. (As always, for the bigger picture, just click on it.) =D

GOOD PARENTS

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/368.html

How can I be a good parent?

There's not just one right way to raise children. And there's no such thing as a perfect parent--or a perfect child. But here are some guidelines to help your children grow up healthy and happy:

Show your love. Every day, tell your children: "I love you. You're special to me." Give lots of hugs and kisses.
Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them that you think they're important and that you're interested in what they have to say.

Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they're scared. Show them you've taken steps to protect them.
Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.

Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you're proud of them.

Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don't say, "You were bad." Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: "Running into the street without looking isn't safe." Then tell the child what to do instead: "First, look both ways for cars."

Be consistent. Your rules don't have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby sitters and relatives know, and follow, your family rules.

Spend time with your children. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually their way of getting your attention.

DRAWINGS

Here are some of Nikki's and Ethan's drawings. They learned these mostly from Blue's Clues (except for the solar system and the one with the boat. Those ones, Nikki did on his own. =D)

This one is Ethan's work. It's supposed to be a cow but it looks like a spider. =D Those additional lines underneath the belly are supposed to be udders is why. =D

SIMILAR SITUATION

I am posting this letter from a mom (homeschoolfreestuff). A similar incident happened to us when we were at a playcenter in a mall. This boy, who could not have been more than 8 years old, irritated that Ethan did not want to share his blocks gave Ethan the dirty finger!! You can read about it here (prepared to be shocked). Good thing I was there and good thing Ethan was paying him no heed. But that boy really made my blood boil, that's for sure. So yes, I can relate to what this mom felt.


Socialization, or Avoiding Anti-Socialization

My son was having a birthday, so we decided to take him and a few friends to our local Chuck-E-Cheese. For those of you who haven't been there before, it's a pizza parlor with lots of games and fun things for kids to do.

Needless to say, there were lots of kids running around. Sort of like a an indoor playground.

Everything was going great, everyone was having fun. Then I spotted two bigger kids chasing my child and their friends. I ran over and screamed STOP at the older kids. They turned and began unloading the most amazing set of profanity at me. Words I haven't heard in years. I was floored to say the least.

Okay, I understand that teenagers learn horrible things, but these two kids couldn't be older than 9! Chasing a 5 and 7 year old, spouting language that would make a sailor blush!

I told the manager, and he went over to talk to the two kids. The two kids nodded, and that was it. The manager told me that they would behave. My kids were shocked, but their friends were visibly shaken.

In fact, every time the two kids came into the area my kids didn't notice, but their friends became visibly scared. Clearly, their public school experience taught them how bullies work. Once bullied, you will always be in danger.

My kid's friends couldn't relax after that, so we left. There was no point in staying.

On the way home, I couldn't help but think. Gosh, what an oppressive way to live. If my kids went to public school, they would have to deal with that kind of thing day in, and day out. What a way to live, what a way to learn? So is that socialization, or anti-socialization?

All I can say is thank God for the opportunity to raise and educate my children free from that kind of life.

~IKS~